“I’ve become so Numb.. I can’t feel you”

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Dear Readers,

We hear people hurting each other every day. When we have been sad for a long time that when something bad happens that we don’t cry, we just sit there and we feel numb. We feel empty and full of emotions at the same time. Like the smallest thing can push us over the edges. What do you do when there is nothing but pain inside us in a relation? And what if everything that we were looking for only existed in our dreams? How do you explain something you don’t even understand yourself? We are too quite outside and in our head; we are in a war of life like a moon so lonely, so full of imperfection.

Sometimes people don’t understand it’s not that we don’t try but it’s that we try so fucking hard to be worth the times of your life. We try to be funny and smart and pretty and deserving of your love, despite every attempt we still feel we are not enough. Some people say we are too sensitive but the truth is we just feel too much. Every word good or bad goes straight to our heart. It is said when we get hurt so much and we finally say, “It’s nothing new in my life”. We feel we have lost somebody who wasn’t even ours. Sometimes not saying anything feels a better solution. Pain changes people, it makes then trust less, over think more and shut people out.

To be honest it’s not the end of the world. Relations are made and broken. The pain is too much to even be explained in words. Life looks as if there is no love and pain is the only thing together and will stay with us forever. This is the time to help you. There is only one me, remember that. It takes a strong heart to love but it takes a stronger heart to continue to love after being hurt. Don’t be afraid to get hurt, it might be the start of a true journey of happiness. Forget what hurts you and start thinking of what it actually teaches you about life. Give your heart one more chance to love. Move On!!!!

Someone told me that none of us are actually afraid of dark, we are afraid of the secret which is a part of the dark. The day we learn to accept the fact that, “Every pain in life is a hope of a new happiness”, we will surely become so strong that we even can walk alone. The question is do we want to?

Regards,
Swati Chaurasia

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