I am proud of my heart – It still works !!!!

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Dear Readers,

Life has a habit of teaching us lessons. Sometimes it makes us and sometimes it breaks us to pieces that are hard to make a whole again. The damage caused in the process does have an effect on our future. We stop believing in ourselves, we stop trusting others and we try to close our feelings so much that no one can hurt us anymore. We sometimes don’t let people be close to us because we are too scared to get hurt again and lose others. Even if the opposite person may never hurt us but still our past makes everything judgemental. We are scared because of our past, but how long are we planning to live like this?

People don’t understand one thing,”No wound gets better on its own, it needs medication and care to get better”. If there was bitterness planted with the soil of our feelings, how can we expect love to be the fruit out of it?. The soil needs to be treated with love to get love. No damaged thing has the power to repair itself all by himself, it needs help!

An emotionally damaged person also needs help to get himself to be back to normal. The treatment is exactly how we treat an accident patient. You find the damage, you find out how deep the damage is, you find out what parts of your emotions are hurt, you see if it requires any surgery of drilling the past stories and giving it the right kind of understanding treatment to recover. Then applying medicine to it and take care of the patient so much that the wound does not matter anymore. Sometimes when you try to apply for medicine, it will hurt the patient and may lead her to the day of the accident

I believe,”If we want our past to stop haunting us, we need to have happier memories to cover that”. The more the happier memories, the less we will think about our unhappy past. I know our heart hurts right now, we have no idea what it needs but the people that are close to us know that so please help. You never truly know how damaged the person is unless you try to love them.

Damaged people love you like you are a crime scene before the crime has even been committed. They keep their running shoes beside their soul every night, one eye open in case things change whilst they sleep. Their backs are always tense as though waiting to fight a sudden storm that might engulf them. Because damage people have already seen hell and they understand that every evil demon that exists on there was once a kind angel before it fell.

Guess what, love and support no matter what is the only cure to them and to me. I am proud of my heart that it is still ready to love and smile.

Regards,
Swati Chaurasia.

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What is commitment in love?

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Dear Readers,

“A committed relationship is an interpersonal relationship based upon a mutually agreed-upon commitment to one another involving exclusivity, love, trust, honesty, openness, or some other agreed-upon behavior”. This is what Google means by commitment. After reading this statement I feel every word in this statement gives the true meaning of commitment in love. The question is, “Do we follow it truly in our daily lives?”.

Commitment is a relationship based on mutual agreement with one another. It is a promise to each other that our relationship may not be perfect with each other with the differences and arguments but I can promise you that as long as you’re trying, I am staying with you. The mutual agreement is unconditional love towards each other. It’s like even if we don’t like to do something and still we do it with the same happiness and dedication that’s love and the true meaning of commitment.

Commitment is being exclusive for each other. It means staying loyal to what you said you are going to do long after the mood you said it in has left you. When confronted with any challenge in love, a committed heart will search for a solution and an undecided heart will search for an escape. Sometimes a good relationship ends not because of the absence of love but because of the lack of commitment and true dedication. What you do for your love, you will never do it for anyone. How you treat her, you will not treat anyone like that and last but not the least you can never love anyone how you have loved her till now.

Commitment is true love, trust, understanding each other in any situation, openness, no ego and no attitude kind of a relationship. It is an unconditional love to an imperfect person. To love someone isn’t just a strong feeling; it is a decision, a judgment and a promise to someone that no matter what I will always be around waiting for you. Love requires three things: Acceptance, honesty, and commitment. Love is when you care about who the other person really is, rather than about whom you think they should become. It is daring to reveal yourself honestly and daring to be open and vulnerable over the long-term. It is about sticking by each other’s side through thick and thin and always be there when you are needed the most.

Regards,
Swati Chaurasia

If it is not happy it’s not the end !!

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Dear Readers,

Today morning when I woke up, I was wondering why we think that if we are in a sad phase or going through a rough patch in our lives we will remain in the same state rest of our lives. It always makes us feel that it is the end of the world. We go crazy and nuts just thinking about it. The fear of the same is more than killing. What if this happens or what if that happens, these are the questions running through our minds like a never-ending roller coaster ride. We don’t feel happy, we don’t get sleep and nothing around us can cheer us up. We think of all the worst possibilities possible around us.

Why are we even thinking about it? Is our thinking going to change anything in our future? Will our thinking make our sad situation any better? If it is not happy how it can be the end? Hard to believe but it is true!!

In life, we forget, “The more we run behind anything, the more it gets away from us”. All things in our life have a date and a time when it will happen. It will never come early to us whatever we do. We can only increase or decrease the speed of our life results just by the kind of efforts we put or how desperate are we or how important it is for us in our lives. We don’t have the control to our future but we have the control to design our own future with our present. It’s simple if we say we want something in life, we need to put then right kind of efforts with the right intensity. Our feelings to the task have to be pure and I am sure there is no looking back. We only need the ability to make it possible and success will follow us. If we have not reached the success of our problems then it’s sure not the end. We should not stop putting efforts until the time we reach the thing we actually want from our lives.

Everything is going to be ok at the end; if it is not ok it is not the end. The truth is,” The end is always happy”. Our happiness is just on our way and it is waiting for us. I agree the road seems long and the time is less but it’s worth the wait. There had been times in our life when our happiness was just a couple of steps away but it could not meet us because we stopped on the way. Seasons will change and the world around us also but it will still show us great joy and delight. Everything happens for a reason and everything in our life is worth the wait. We are given this life for a reason because we are strong enough to live it.

Regards,
Swati Chaurasia

I choose to be happy !!!

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Dear Readers,

When I was young I had always thought,” Life is full of negative things, no happiness, no love, people with judgment mentally and living your life the way you want to will never be possible”. As I grew older I realized,” It’s not about what you think, it’s about what you want” Changing the surrounding as per your wish can be hard. Changing yourself as per what you want in your life is easy and fun because in the negative surrounding you still are a happy soul. 

We sometimes do things what our loved once expect out of us because it makes them happy. It is good to keep people around us happy but we should never forget our happiness is equally important. If we are truly happy with whatever we do, people around us will definitely share the same happiness with us.We should not try to be right in life, we should try to be happier each day that we live. The truth of life is, ” Nothing in this world can make you happy until you choose to be happy”. 

Our life will always be surrounded with problems and worries and to survive in this we need to make chooses that make us happy. I believe, the biggest survivor is the one who has seen a lot in life or seeing a lot in life and still has the courage to stand and smile. A smile that tells the world,” I choose to be unstoppable. I am bigger than my concerns and worries. The strength of others inspires me daily. I focus on my goals and dreams. I trust my intuitions and live a courageous life. I know one thing for sure, I will be happy not matter what life throws at me”.  

“If ever we are trapped between our feelings and what people think is right, always go for whatever makes us happy unless we want everyone to be happy except us”.  Tomorrow when the sun shines through your window, choose to make it a happy day.

Regards,

Swati Chaurasia

It’s hard to forgive yourself !!

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Dear Readers,

Since we are born, we always dream of people liking us for who we are. We want to be a star in whatever we do. To achieve that we sometimes take wrong steps unintentionally. Hard to believe…… but it is true. All of us want to feel good about ourselves. Please around us should love us and want to be around us. We should be important in their lives. That somehow gives us a sense of satisfaction. But on this journey, if we make a mistake we cannot forgive ourselves ever.

Today I read a story about a girl, who was not pretty, no fun, typical orthodox mentally that it’s ok to hurt yourself rather than hurt others. She had no friends. She always wanted friends but no one wanted her. During her college, just to be cool she became someone’s sidekick. Everyone’s priorities were far away from her. She did fall in love but even there she felt used and cheated. She cried for days thinking it was her mistake. She even tried to kill herself just to get over with her pain. Something inside her was broken, I feel her confidence. She thought she will never be happy ever in her life. Every night when she cried, she always thought, “What have I done to deserve this? Did I hurt anyone? Have I told bad things to anyone in my life? Why do wrong things happen to right people? And please someone take away my life as I cannot do that to myself, I don’t have the courage to do so. Sad isn’t it? And one day a thought clicked her mind,” If people want to see me differently, let’s show them what they want to see. If people wanted me to become a confident, strong and independent woman who has no fear of anything, I will become one. If people want me to show that I am the happy person and not an emotional idiot, I will become one”. And then began a journey of making mistakes. She became one of them, heartless, rude, proud bitch who can go to any extend to show people what she is capable of. She had never said even a single word against anyone her whole life and here she was giving people what she feels on their face. She adopted the law of tit for tat and she felt that is the only language that the world understands. A point came when she actually hurt someone very good. That is when things changed again. You hurt a bad person you will never feel bad about it, but if you hurt a good person that the worst feeling in the world. The guilt will kill you. That is when she stopped because it was time to forgive herself.

We make mistakes but all our actions are connected to the past that we have. We know that a mistake is a mistake but we should not forget in what conditions it happened. And above all self-realization is everything that can heal the guilt that we have because of hurting someone who was not like others, who just want to use us. It is easy to forgive others, it helps us to get rid of our own self-pain. It is very difficult to forgive yourself because of the fight within you about the guilt, shame, hurting a good person and realizing that you made a mistake, it’s hard. But we forget one thing, it’s  only a mistake and above all, it’s ok to make one. The only way to get out of it is giving time to such a kind of a person. Her war is much harder than what she would have done to the opposite person. She will be fine only if she feel that she has been honestly forgiven by the opposite person. That will heal her heart and help her to forgive herself.

Regards,
Swati Chaurasia

Just leave me alone !!

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Dear Readers,

In life, we sometimes stand at the stage where we don’t know what to do. We keep thinking about our problems and it is just one roller coaster ride with no ending. We cry and plead for it to get over but it comes to you again the next morning. I am sure all of you know what I mean. We try to do things to forget the problems but the people around us just cannot understand this and wants us to be in pain again by reminding us of it. Crazy isn’t it???

Why can’t people see us just happy? Why is telling us the reality so important? Can’t just people leave us alone and let us figure out the solutions on our own? It is that important to drill someone’s brains when they are already upset and don’t know what to do? Does lecturing really help when we are in the problem? It is so hard to just support and say nothing? I am sure it would be really hard to do all this but just to get the facts right, the day we come to a stage and say that “We don’t care” none of the above will matter anymore.

It is good to say no sometimes and not do things that you don’t like or don’t want to do. Example if you don’t like your life the way it is going, change it. Don’t just sit and crib about it. The control of your life is in your own fucking hands. No one is responsible for your life except you. Take a stand and control it and have the courage and say, “You know what, just leave me alone!!! I am capable of figuring out my own ways of life and FYI I am best at whatever I do”

1- Just leave me alone as I am not myself and I don’t want to know the fucking reality.

2- Just leave me alone because you are just not worth of me anymore.

3- I am sorry if you don’t like me, I am sorry if you think I suck, but most of all I am sorry because I don’t give a fuck !!!

4- I need time alone like you need time to breathe, so just leave me alone.

5- I don’t get it, you don’t want me gone but you don’t want me with you either so just leaves me alone.

6- You cannot respect me for who I am and not judge me, leave me alone and let me live my life on my own terms.

7- If you don’t have good intentions, please just leave me alone, I am really tired!!!

8- Be real with me or just leaving me alone.

9- I am who I am. I like what I like. I love what I love. I do what I want. Get off my back and deal with it. It’s my life, not yours.

10- I have no need for people who come to me when they need me, then throw me aside when they are fine. To those people, “Just leave me alone”

I was quite but I am not blind. Just leave me alone in life. I don’t want to deal with people anymore. Life is too short to give a shit about these kinds of people. It is better to say and walk off. Trust me that the best decision that you will take for yourself. It will not be easy, it will be the hardest thing that you would have ever done but trust me you will meet a better you again.

Regards,
Swati Chaurasia

My lover – Ever thine ever mine ever ours !!!

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Dear Readers,

We have been always looking out for love in our life. We have been into relationships. I am sure we would have given our 100% to the relation and would have been happy with it. But still it always makes me wonder,” What actually defines love?” or “How do we know he is the one?”.

Love is like flying towards a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment, 1st to let go life and finally to take a step without feet. When you find the opposite person feeling the same for you, I am sure it is the risk that you can take and fall in love. It changes you as a person completely. We meet someone and in no time that someone is our whole life. Everything that we do for him becomes unconditional. We just want one stupid excuse to be around him. The smile, the touch of the hand, the kiss everything is just magical. He is on your mind like a Bacardi, you feel free and out of this world. If you are around the person you love, something even ordinary become a memory so bright… it’s worth remembering you whole life. He makes you feel that you are the only one for him, “Ever thine ever mine ever ours”.

He will never be your need; he will be your dream. You will hope every day to live this dream with him together. Your soul will always be worried about the thought of losing him. Real love is not a spontaneous feeling; it is a deliberate choice, a plan to love each other for better or worse. True love never gets over, the more you give, and the more you have. If you get hurt by someone you love, it was not love. It was lust. Infatuation makes you hurt and I feel real love is better than that.

Once you feel love, it’s like no other thing in the world. We crave for love in the most innocent form. We crave to say goodnight and kiss forehead. We crave to say that we adore you when you are at your worst. We crave for him in a way where we just want to be next to him and nothing more or less. If you have found these feelings for one person then I am sure he is the one, your lover, your life and he is not less than a breath to you. You surely cannot live without him.

I just want to say this to my lover,” I don’t know where I stand with you and I don’t know what I mean to you. All I know is every time I think of you; I want to be with you all over again.

Regards,
Swati Chaurasia